Complusive Dysfunction

run or doom

2008-05-26T04:06:12Z

There is a stench over this sad little sink hole. We can get to the air through the humidity. Life is trapped in chains and coffins. Escapes never permanent... that's what we say anyway. Maybe it makes us feel better thinking no one else can get out either- beyond our control- black hole, pit of despair, land of the repressed. It was built to better, we were made for much more- but instead we feed the machines that churn out millions of little corporate, cookie cutter creations.

I'm ready to run. I know where I want to go, what I want to do when I get there, the people I would like to meet, the places I would like to go... It's there, it's just the getting there that causes a bit of trouble. Not b/c I can't get the ticket out of here but b/c tying up my loose ends could take forever.

When memories are no longer the best of what I have and wishes are a form of currency.

what life could be

2008-03-16T23:25:30Z

porch time is fun time with Justin and Vanna. it's like a strange scene out of a comedy- yelling at cars, children, and computers. sipping on some crushed melon Jones soda, listening to "queen of the damned" soundtrack. plotting out escape.

job wanderlust

2008-03-15T16:30:53Z

i posted my resume on monster and career builder. i'm not in too much of a rush to find another job since this one still pays decent and has it's good days. i do have a long list of grievances, but as i was making the list i realized that all but 2 issues were known issues that all of us trainers have mentioned but still no improvement.

if i get another job, i want one that will help me out immensely when we move. i either need something killer for my resume, something that offers certification, or something that can transfer me out of here.

got a email from "The Lionheart Group"- sound scamtastic:

Your Resume/ New Orleans Interview

We have reviewed your resume on CareerBuilder.com and feel we may have an interest in scheduling you for an interview. Please take a moment to answer a brief questionnaire (below) that will further assist us in determining if a preliminary match exists between your qualifications and career objectives and our corporate goals.

Interviews will be conducted in Metairie on Monday of next week. To be clear, this position does NOT require a daily commute.

PLEASE NOTE: You have been sent this email because we saw something in your resume that would indicate to us a potential fit for professional business to business sales.

If you feel we have made an error, there is no reason for you to click on the compatibility profile below. Please simply go to the bottom of this email and click on the link that reads “Block this employer from viewing your resume”. This will permanently remove your resume from our recruiting process.

Click below for our online compatibility questionnaire:
https://www.thelionheartgroup.com/Profile?NEW

The Lionheart Group, Inc. is uniquely positioned to attract, develop and retain preeminent field and management talent in an emerging industry characterized by high-growth and minimal competition. We specialize in providing business owners and employee groups of all sizes with cutting edge employee benefits specifically designed for identity theft restoration and access to the legal system.

We are looking for independent-minded individuals with solid interpersonal communications skills to join our elite team of highly trained business to business sales professionals. Our Agents can earn substantial incomes marketing our plans both as employee benefits and as valuable tools for business owners.

Candidates must be comfortable dealing with senior level executives and business owners. Presentation skills suitable for presenting to groups of 10 to 40 employees at a time are a plus. Candidates must be coachable and willing to follow a proven success system.

For more information on The Lionheart Group, Inc. and the type of professionals we are seeking in New Orleans and around the country, please visit our web site at http://thelionheartgroup.com

All additional details will be discussed at the interview, if one is scheduled.

Thank you in advance,

Beth Taylor, Area VP
The Lionheart Group, Inc.

sounds vague and not promising. i googled them to find out a few people received this same message in 2006- the company wants you to provide an "initial investment" and you "interview" with a room full of people.

how 'bout no.

Cafe Boheme is finally open down the street after a year or more of fixing it up... i think i'll wander down that way today.

my cat and justin's cat have a myspace account. that's what i get for leaving my laptop on while i was at work.

you're drunk, i'm sexy

2008-03-15T01:54:45Z

Dearest internet,

Once upon a time there was a silly little girl who grew into a bored princess. She sat on her throne on her front porch and watched some poor guy get arrested. Why... who knows? But there were 2 cop cars just chillin' directly across the street with their disco lights on. Then they got done talking to the guy in the white car who stood in the "arrest" position (arms above head, legs spread), let him leave, continued to chat in the street while disco techs played in the princess's head.

Eventually, it was all gone and she was bored again.

yep.

Time to move.

too bad i have a million things to do before Justin and I can hop a plane, train, or automobile to the west coast.

*le sigh*

oh, sang bohemian rhapsody last week at The Groove's karaoke night. I enlisted back-up dancers, singers, and air guitarists... only joined by one singer on stage- but the crowd joined none the less (from what I was told, I couldn't see anything from up there). 'twas fun... if i do it again i need another song people will join in on. i save my real singing for my cats.

ch-ch-ch-changes

2007-08-17T03:15:27Z

it's time for some serious changes-- namely, my hair. i want to go back to my lovely black and red, but not the chunks since i know a couple people with the chunks. also... i'm no longer holding on to my "long hair at all costs" mentality. i'll let them chop chop as much as they say they need to so the split end party drops to the floor and long hair becomes easier to achieve.

also... got to find a
-new couch (one that doesn't look hideous and fall apart like the last one)
-new fridge (the current one produces puddles everywhere and has no door storage)
-new washer/dryer (current ones are loud, annoying, and useless just like... *ahem*)
-new bed (my old old bed decided to retire on me
-new raidiator (car go smokey)

i'm in the middle of painting up my kitchen... need lots of stain/weather proofer for my back deck... and the front porch needs a bit of sanding before the new color goes on.

plus... by the end of this month we should have high speed internet at the house.... i'll finally not be web-dead anymore!

*le sigh*

laters people of doom... i have a kitten at home waiting on me =^_^=

I hope you get caught

2007-08-14T04:08:50Z

Dear you,

Your lies might get you here and there… but eventually everyone sees your true colors. Speaking too many contradictions, you tell on yourself. Every person like you in my life has made it harder for me to trust and expect the best from people.

I’m ready for this to be over. Every completed step towards the end has made me that much more relieved.

Sincerely,
The End

professional ankle twisting

2007-07-12T01:01:37Z

so today is my last vacation day at La Maison de Ma Mère but my ankle is still rather twisted. it has just about ripened into a nice shade of orange-purple.

so tomorrow it is back work. *le sigh*

speaking of work... i've stumbled across a website called "Linked In". it's a bit like facebook, but much less trend-tastic and much more professional. i hope it helps me connect with people who can help me advance into a much happier, healthier, exciting, and innovative work environment.

You can find me here: http://www.linkedin.com/in/thelola

if you join, or are already a member, it would be wondrous to be added to your network. so let's network! my people will call your people and we'll do lunch at the Ritz.

antisocial is second nature

2007-07-11T00:59:02Z

have you ever just easily fallen into being antisocial? being around people seems like more effort than it's worth?

i'm not depressed and i don't hate people... but i've taken this sprained ankle as a pure chance to be antisocial. to just be alone... not even wanting to get online most of the time even though i finally have a chance. sure, i was slipping into antisocialism for a while now... and i am the world's worst at staying in contact with people (contact works 2 ways, though, people *fussy glare* you know who you are)

it's a strange state of our society when sick time, sprained ankles, broken bones, etc are the only time we really sit down and do very little. it's the only time when we have given ourselves enough right to not even think all the time about what needs to be done. most of us spend the first day or so thinking "when i get better, i have to do this, this this, this, thisy this this..." but we almost always realize that until we stop working our bodies and minds, until we actually rest for a bit, we won't get better.

the more i work and plan, the less fun i have. the less fun i have, the more i work and plan so that one day i'll have time and money for fun. but yet somehow, the more i work and plan, the more bills and such come up.

sounds like the great old American work ethic right there.

sounds like a sure fire way to waste the young years and die before i get to the "relaxed" years.

why do we do this to ourselves?

i get a couple more antisocial days, then i need to truely work and plan my way right out of this "great" American work ethic into something more healthy.

twisted

2007-07-06T19:36:05Z

i went one way... my foot went the other... i get to wear a moonboot with a passion for velcro for a few days.

ouch

dial me deluded

2007-06-11T02:48:53Z

my mom still uses dial-up. it's scary... a couple years ago i got online with my windows 3.1 computer just to see what would happen. it seems right about similar.

special.

do you suffer from blog depression? are you worried that you or a friend may blog to death?

the above links won't help... but they will make fun of you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

blah blah blah serious starts:

a friend of mine (we'll call her Albatross) is so terribly worried about a stupid girl coming along and stealing her man that anytime this girl hops by, Albatross sees red and goes in for the kill. no reasoning seems to calm the charging fury.

i find this to be a useless effort. girls who like stealing guys are everywhere... you can't be everywhere... if it's going to happen, it's going to happen. no amount of rage will stop it. if anything, rage will fuel it.

as strange as it may seem, i welcome the devious girls of doom. if i'm with a guy weak enough to give in to easy Louisey, then i don't really want to be with that guy. if i can't trust someone, why be with them? and if i can trust the guy, then i have no reason to launch off my barstool into certain catfight just to keep her away.

jealousy here and there is normal. BUT there's a line- a thick, obvious, crazy line that gets crossed when twinge of jealousy turns into the incredible hulk of "i'm-gonna-kill-a-bitch!"

broken down, i see it as:

Louisey steals guy- i win: she gets guy dumb enough to fall for her and i get freed up for a guy worth my time

guy is trustworthy- i win: i get great guy that i can trust

but if i attack Louisey- i lose, she wins(no matter if she gets ths guy or not): i lose b/c i show her that she is a threat, which means she is worthy of my attention, which means there has to be something i see in her as better than me. if i see nothing in her that is better than me, then i don't see a threat. these girls normally have the type of self-esteem that needs to be constantly validated by other people. she wants either the guy to show her she is attractive or you to show her she is worthy of your jealousy.

if i attack her, you also show the guy you are with that you don't trust him. i don't care how many guys have been jerks in the past, you can't take their issues out on your current guy. yeah, you'll have stuff to work through and you'll get moments of doubt from time to time... but if it isn't his fault, DO NOT take it out on him!

you claim you can trust him, but if you attack her in jealousy, he will see it as you not trusting him. then YOU would break up your relationship, NOT her.

Albatross, you know who you are, listen to reason- you only let her win when you attack her.

blah blah blah serious over.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

ah roooo.....

~_~

on a more random note:

at work, we all have outlook accounts to send officey notes to each other. a trend now has been to have a positive, motivational quote or phrase at the bottom in our signature. so i'll sign off with mine...

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Neither does bathing- that's why we recommend it daily. ~Zig Ziglar

pancake on a stick

2007-06-02T07:59:04Z

it takes me hours to get across town b/c my car overheats... even at night.

i need waffles.

busy weekend... too many things to be completed... too many long distances for my car to agree.

i wish there were new issues of jthm to read.... i'm just in that mood right now.

sometimes i miss other "lives" i've had... out in other places at other times... seems like memories of movies instead of memories

typed myself up a nice little resume and submitted it to jones soda for customer service/logistics position. job description sounds just like what i have experience in... and i would love love love to work for jones. ^_^

my stock in jones is worth much more than it was when i bought it.

mustard.

if someone you care about is over indulging in various reality altering substances. what could you do? i don't care too much about anything anyone chooses to do for fun... i'm just concerned over one individual who has ODed more than once and is extremely likely to do it again... it's taken to the level of "life revolving around escape" to the point of absolute danger. i feel powerless. i don't like to step into other people's choices for themselves. but i don't want to see them die when i should have done something.

blah.

i'm not third prize... i'm first, yo

2007-06-01T01:28:36Z

i always wonder when guys are inebriated and hit on me, how much does the altered state play into the pick-up attempt. i feel like:
- i'm so unapproachable that they must get some liquid courage beforehand
- i'm an attractive enough option... when seen through beer goggles
- this guy can't really address challenges in life without something to use as an excuse if it doesn't work
- drinky make-em randy... must find "something" to do... fast

none of these leave me feeling warm and fuzzy. my drink might leave me warm and fuzzy... but i ~~undress~~ er... digress

i also don't care for feeling that i am the best of limited choices. i'm not interested in a guy swayed easily by a flirty face. ego boosting aside, exceptionally flirty girls usually aren't worth falling for... so a guy who is easily infatuated with every girl willing to sit across his lap, isn't a guy i would feel content with. mostly b/c i want to be selected not defaulted. i want to be chosen, not left overs... one of a kind, not "this one will do".

...i'm not into the whole "love the one your with" thing... my song would be "be with the one you love or wait for someone worth loving". not as catchy, but hey, not as std-ridden either.

*le sigh*

"Dear Random,
i love you-ish..."

maybe i'm too selective... just b/c i want a honest guy who has a great sarcastic sense of humor, has tact yet isn't easily offended, thoughtful, interesting, open to new things, occasionally adventurous, being offbeatly (is that a word? O_o) romantic would be a plus... if you like pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain, if you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain... and ~~can leap tall buildings in a single bound~~... or ~~has radioactive blood~~... devils and blacksheep and really bad eggs. Drink up me 'earties, yo ho!

ah well...

on a completely unrelated note... marley and sergio had a bidding war at the silent auction today at work... over a small ceramic puppy dog bank... marley won at $45.50! but don't worry... she gets an instant rebate since the bank had 2 pennies in it.

it seems that sometimes being competitive becomes more important than money. $_$

it goes to a good cause... all money from the auction is sent to the american cancer society.

make the monkies stop!

2007-03-11T02:03:41Z

so as always... my time online is few and far between b/c i haven't set everything up at the house yet. partially b/c there are so many other things to get done and partially b/c i'm lazy.

lazy azy

i bought a dirt devil kone for... get this... $7.50! got one for my mom as well. 'tis wonderful... it's like a nightlight with a nice design that helps you clean.

i love anything that can multitask like that.

yeah... so i'm off now... have to check emails and empty me camera.

you look so cute when you're dead

2007-02-26T06:22:34Z

dial-up is evil in the form of slow. i think i'll go home and watch some old tapes of buffy season 6 (thank you Jaime) while cleaning the kabob and cream puff mess of weekend-times.

Femmy and i enjoyed and spent a funfilled day together with new experiences for all in a fresh lemon scent for all your fine washables.

sesame milk buns are odd. ODD I SAY!

hey you... yes you there... with the eyes and whatnot... do you like applesauce with your nudity?

how often do astronauts get naked in space?

these are the questions we must have answered before monkeys invade Uranus.

blah.

can i just be rich already. i mean, hell... i'm already having a mid-life crisis with the whole "owning a home" and "driving a minivan" thing. i'm not even in that age area and yet i'm living like it. i have a corporate office type job. i live with 3 cats. i buy rose bushes for $3 b/c it's a "good deal" with the full intent to plant them as if gardening as a pastime is something i do. am i polymorphic or what?

i see a red door and i want to paint it black! watch podcasts of my shoe! i don't want your green eggs or ham!!!

housewarming brief (thoughts of a warm house in it's underwear)

2007-02-13T01:50:37Z

we (meself and orphenzidane (Ashley/"Pika")) are having the housewarming bash on Sat the 24th and Sun the 25th... we know some people will need to crash and also some people won't be able to make the 24th... so that's why we have the 25th as well.

we're attempting to get the bbq grill moved over before then so we can have a bit of a cook-out.

the driveway is long but narrow... some people may park on the street... or park in business parking lots nearby and walk over if needed.

we might be loud at times in the house, but outside we should use our... er... "inside voices", let's not be welcomed into the neighborhood by angry neighbors >_<

we have a gift registry at walmart.com and, i think, at wishlist.com if you feel up to bringing something.

Warming the house items
Black bath towels, all sizes
Energy efficient light bulbs
Shelves, especially for dvd/vhs/media
A connector thing to make it easier to connect a couple game systems and a dvd/vcr to the computer
Basic supplies (it would be near impossible to have too much toilet paper/paper towels/cleaner/sponges/etc)
Anything to help us organize efficiently

Good colors for the house- black, red, cream, stainless steel, natural dark wood
Good styles- Asian, French, Art Deco, classic, smooth lines, functional

acute scientologist

2006-11-22T00:19:02Z

so.... i'm sick.

i think i wished myself sick. i was rather surprised at my 200 hours of sick time i have never used and i did mention repeatedly how i need to take some of it. even said i hope i get sick for a week so i can really use it up.

so..... i'm sick.

YagaMatt: are you off work ?
YagaMatt: hooray
Chesire Moon: yep... i'm off sick
YagaMatt: now we've got time to do that child sacrifice
YagaMatt: get better! get some of those cold swab things
YagaMatt: those things are awesome
Chesire Moon: they wrote me a lovely note to cover me all the way till the 27th
YagaMatt: niiice
Chesire Moon: just hope i get better before then or else this sick time is wasted
YagaMatt: 1 drive to pharmacy
YagaMatt: 2 buy zinc swabs
YagaMatt: 3 sleep
YagaMatt: 4 feel better
YagaMatt: Zicam i think is what its called
Chesire Moon: i have acute scientologist
YagaMatt: haha
YagaMatt: like isaac hayes
Chesire Moon: something like that... only flemmy

houses and those who house them

2006-10-30T08:13:04Z

soooo... i'm really nearing the completion of a contract... just have to determine the closing costs and what i can get the seller to pay... and view the house one more time to get a better idea of the repairs and whatnot

*le sgh*

i'm ready for the deal to be done so i can do other things with my time

hectic house hunting

2006-10-23T19:25:08Z

life is hectic lately.. heck-tic... yeah

so i'm probably making an offer on a house tomorrow. once that part is done, i'll acutally have time to do things-- like the 6 pieces of art to be sent out from my previous lj post.

blah.

and other such blah things

i don't wanna go to work today... no wanna train 22 new people for 7 hours... make it don't

Horror Art

2006-10-13T05:40:04Z

the horror art party is today/tomorrow.... er... FRIDAY THE 13th! I plan on going... anyone else?

here's the details i took from there myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/envyarts

1208w 7th st
Hattiesburg
Friday October the 13th
from 3pm to 3am.

The theme of the show is HorrorArt so be scary if you want to.

-large selection of bands and artists signed up for this months show so don't miss it.

Bring.us.your.art@gmail.com

oh... and lookie at me

2006-10-12T04:57:04Z

originally drawn in 2004 by Rocky... i coloured it in recently with photoshop... lookie at cartoon me ^____^

erm... and please help me find a house *makes pitiful begging face*

me tummy hurt

2006-10-12T04:43:42Z

house shopping sucks

*pouts*

i have approval for the loan, i have a list of possibly places... but is it so wrong that i want something relatively perfect?

anyone know any houses for sale?

i want something in town, big rooms, plenty of parking... those are the key elements.

i want somewhere i can hold art parties w/o the neighbors getting mad that the band is too loud... but not in a completely ghetto area. i want the place to be decent enough for dinner parties and such as well, ya know.

i found a house on 3rd that was almost perfect... but the layout inside was odd and awkward... and though overall there was a lot of room, it was broken up into not so useful sections... unless i wanted a duplex style house.

if you come across anything please please please let me know...

needs:
-in town
-spacious
-plenty of parking
-neighbors don't protest parties

perks:
-fridge and other such appliances
-wood floors
-the more beds/bath the better
-porch

i'd like to stay in the 75,000 or less price range but if something was perfect enough i could go higher. even though i can get approved for more, i personally don't want to pay much

and yeah.. so... my tummy hurts. i think i'm off to bed to crash soon.

work is... interesting lately. frustrating, rather. i'm the youngest, least experienced person on my team but yet have the most FREAKING LOGIC! AGH! it wears me out.

but yeah.. this was a fussy post... in other news, i'm incredibly happy.

^_^

*glee*

me arts fo you

2006-10-06T04:17:32Z

No Anonomous need apply...
Stolen from the_goddess

The first five people to respond to this post, will get some form of art, by me, about them. I make no guarantees about quality or type, but I will assure that I will give it good effort and that the art will be individual to you, so if you get a mixed CD or some sort of painting doodle, yours is the only one like it.

The only catch, of course; as with most memes, if you sign up, you have to put this in your own journal as well.

way-back machine

2006-09-27T08:27:44Z

Invalid video URL.

Long time no livejournal

2006-09-26T18:01:02Z

wow... it's been a hot minute hasn't it? lj looks a bit different as well.

*looks about all wide-eyed*

well... before i run off to my *blah* job... i want to tell everyone about an upcoming *something actually kewl!!* event here in hattiesburg...

most are from places like Sundance Film Fest! some are local films from local students! one on saturday has Elijah Wood in it!

i read over the list of films a couple days ago and i'm throughly excited! i plan to be there all 3 days!

Tell EVERYONE to go! the more we support stuff like this, the more art and culture we will actually get in Hattiesburg!!!!!! so SUPPORT! BUY A TICKET! THEY ARE ONLY $7/$5!!!

WOO!

ok... enough caps already.... i'll leave you with this:
the other day i saw a tow truck towing a krispy kreme truck down Hardy St... i thought "wow... that guy must reall like donoughts"

reports of my death are highly exaggerated... i'm still not goth

2006-09-03T09:30:46Z

computer went dead, my car is in the shop, my phone has killed over a time or two, my camera went retarded today, and i have loads of "to do"s to do.....

no worries... i'm about to head to bed and sleep is a nice little vacation.

O_o

wooooooooo....

i have to post this... just a fun and funky snapshot i took... Frankie rawkin' the 'hawk at Nick's Ice House